Episode 33

July 8, 2021

by Melanie Reed

If you are a regular listener or you follow me on social media, you know that one of my strong beliefs is that building solid relationships is absolutely essential to a successful and fulfilling HR Career. When I look back over my twenty-plus years as an HR professional, I can honestly say that 99.9% of my success and happiness with my career has come from building strong, positive relationships.

My knowledge, my technical skills, and my ability to problem solve, write, present, etc. are all important, but when it comes to success and fulfillment, all the credit goes to relationships.

Yes, it is important to do good work. But, in order to really be successful in this profession, we also have to be human. Sometimes I think that is lacking in many organizations and sadly HR departments. What’s worse is that it's often the HR professionals who lack this human perspective that wonder why people won’t work with them or hate HR.

Showing interest and genuine care for other people goes a long way, but being interested in others in a sincere way and really caring is what is needed. I don’t just build relationships to get ahead in my career, but I do it because it feels good and I generally like people. Plus I know that in order to my job well, I need to get to know what the real issues are, and that means getting to know people, the humans doing the work. Without that understanding how can I possibly come up with real solutions?

In this episode I share five things you can do today, regardless of where you are in the org chart, to help you become a better relationship builder. Let's face it, work is way more fun if you work with people you like and respect, and the only way to like and respect people is to build relationships with them.

Here are the five actions you can take to build better relationships today:

Become more self-aware
Be interested rather than interesting
Look for ways to collaborate
Take initiative
Be a positive force

Here is a summary of this episode:

[01:48] - I share a fairly recent example of how relationships helped me in my career and then deliver the longest intro ever!
[05:48] - I encourage you to listen to a few other relevant episodes of The HR Mentor if you are not already convinced that building relationships is important for your HR Career. In particular I encourage you to check out Episode 32, Episode 8 and Episode 16.
[07:03] - Becoming more self aware is the first action I suggest you take. I encourage you to consider your strengths and weaknesses and how they impact your interactions in relationships. It is also important that you use your emotional intelligence to read the room and adjust yourself if your audience is not responding positively to your interaction.
[11:09] - The next thing I want you to do to build better relationships is be interested rather than be interesting! Make sure that the focus is on the person you want to build a relationship with rather than on you and what you have done and are wonderful at. Ask questions, but keep it natural and don't interrogate. And most importantly, don't be a one-upper like the skating coach I worked with many moon ago!
[17:23] - The third thing you can do to build relationships is to look for opportunities to collaborate with others within your organization or school. Even if it's hard for you to ask for help, find ways that other people can help fill in for your weaknesses. This helps you do better work and get to know more people in the organization. You can also engage with employee resource groups, planning groups or social events and activities. You can also collaborate by offering to help other people.
[20:44] - The fourth way to build relationships is to take the initiative. This is often respected by many people in organizations and people are very unlikely to reject you if you make the first move to get to know people better.
[22:22] - The final aspect to building successful relationships is to be a positive force. Take the high road and choose to be positive in your communication.

Here are helpful links to other relevant episodes and a link to sign up for my weekly newsletter!

If you are feeling extra generous and want to send some love my way, I would be so very grateful for a review and a rating on Apple Podcasts or a recommendation on LinkedIn. And if you haven't yet, don't forget to subscribe to The HR Mentor so you never miss an episode on the following platforms: